


sink (into my embrace)

by ultsjih



Category: BTOB
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, good boyfriend sungjae, lots of kisses, pls forgive me, the end is So cheesy, very sad ilhoon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-23 16:37:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11993712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultsjih/pseuds/ultsjih
Summary: sungjae isn't quite sure what's been eating at his boyfriend recently, but he'll be damned if he doesn't find out.





	sink (into my embrace)

**Author's Note:**

> pls dnt come for my titles im SO bad (ps im sorry for this queen jamie)

_ “For once, stop pretending you’re okay! Just talk to me.” _

 

The words came out of Sungjae’s mouth with a fire Ilhoon hadn’t heard in a long time. It made him glare up, for just a split second. And that split second gave Sungjae all the courage he needed. He leaned down and cupped Ilhoon’s plump cheeks in his hands, waiting for him to show any signs of emotion. Yet the look on his face stayed the same, as it regularly would. Only a few broken words spilled from the elder’s mouth. “Please quiet down Sungjae, you’ll wake the other members.”

 

He wasn’t always like this. At the beginning of their relationship, Ilhoon was a magnet for happiness. There wasn’t one time during the day when Sungjae would look over and Ilhoon didn’t have a smile plastered on his face. At a fansign, dance practice, or the studio Ilhoon was just blatantly happy. And that alone made Sungjae love him. 

 

So here Sungjae sits two years later, cupping his boyfriend’s face in his hands, fighting back tears and wondering how he got to be this way. He could always tell Ilhoon wasn’t the same. He would look over and Ilhoon would be dazed out, looking at absolutely nothing with the saddest look on his face. He would scoot over and plant a small kiss on Ilhoon’s cheek, asking what was wrong or what he was thinking about. Most of the time, Ilhoon would just respond with a simple, “I’m fine, just thinking.” But those rare times when Ilhoon would look back and give Sungjae the saddest smile and press a chaste kiss to his lips, exiting the room, that's when Sungjae knew he wasn’t the same.

 

Sungjae still cupped Ilhoon’s face in his hands as hot tears started spilling down his face. Ilhoon looked down at him and frowned, taking his hands out of his pockets and pressing small kisses to where the tears were falling on Sungjae’s face. 

 

“Stop it!” Sungjae insisted, “This isn’t about me, I need to know what’s going on with you so I can fix you. I’m always supposed to fix you,” he choked out. Ilhoon stood up and took Sungjae in his arms, carrying him to the other side of their shared dorm room and placing him on their bed. Sungjae tried to stop the tears from flowing but he couldn’t help that his emotions were getting the best of him. He wanted his giggly boyfriend back. The one who would pull him off to the side in public just so they could kiss. The one who took him out to see a movie or get dinner when they had a day off. The one who wholeheartedly loved him. Not to say that Ilhoon didn’t love Sungjae anymore, he just was terrible at showing it. 

 

As Sungjae watched Ilhoon turn his back to him, ready to walk out of their room, he grabbed his wrist and tugged him backwards. 

“Please, just tell me. I love you and I need to know what’s the matter. I have to fix you,” he choked out between sobs. Ilhoon's face lightened and he found himself going back to their shared bed, kissing Sungjae until his tears stopped flowing. 

 

“Baby,” Ilhoon spoke softly. He cradled Sungjae in his arms as he kissed around his face, trying to calm his boyfriend down. Sungjae continued to sob into Ilhoon’s shirt, sure he was making snot and tear stains but not caring. They stayed in that position for a few minutes before Sungjae looked up, not as hysterical as before, and took Ilhoon’s face in his hand for the second time that night. He connected their lips, not caring about the fact he was just sobbing his eyes out less than ten minutes ago.

 

Ilhoon flipped him over, straddling his hips and connecting their lips furiously, not even remembering the scene that took place not even an hour ago. He brings his lips to Sungjae’s jawline, placing kisses on every inch before trailing down to his collarbone, tracing lines with his lips.

 

Sungjae, completely unresisting under Ilhoon’s touch, let him continue. It was only until Ilhoon threw Sungjae’s shirt off and started trailing desperate kisses from his pecs to his happy trail he felt the need to stop. 

“Ilhoon,” Sungjae said breathlessly, placing his hand over Ilhoon’s bare chest. Ilhoon immediately stopped and looked up to Sungjae’s tear-stained face. He already knew what he wanted. He grabbed Sungjae’s shirt from the other side of the mattress and gave it to him, placing a chaste kiss on his chest in the process. He stood up and grabbed his own shirt from the other side of the room, throwing it on carelessly. 

 

“I’m going to go shower now,” Ilhoon spoke quietly. Sungjae shot his boyfriend a quick nod and let him go, knowing he needed a little alone time.

 

Twenty minutes later, Sungjae was laying on their bed, curled up with his piano music playing softly from his phone. Ilhoon marveled at the sight and let out a faint smile, before getting into the other side of the bed, snaking his arm around his taller boyfriend’s waist. Said male turned around, sleep prominent in his eyes but still determined. He pressed a chaste kiss to his boyfriends plump lips and smiled into it. 

 

“Ilhoon,” Sungjae said. “You know I’m not going to let this go. You need to tell me what’s going on. I can try to help but even if I can’t we can get someone who can we can-,” Sungjae was cut off by Ilhoon’s hand being placed on his mouth, silencing him.

 

“I’ll tell you Sungjae, just give me a chance,” He finally let out. Sungjae smiled at this, looking at the elder inquisitively. 

 

“I’m just….confused,” Ilhoon finally let out. Sungjae looked at him with a puzzled look. What could his boyfriend be confused about? Was it his fault? 

 

“Sungjae please, I know what you’re thinking just hear me out okay babe?” Ilhoon said with the slightest of smiles on his face. Sungjae nodded slowly, nuzzling closer in his boyfriend’s arm. 

 

“A few months back I went to visit my parents. It was just me and them, Minjoo was off somewhere. I decided that it would be a good time to tell them about us, and to tell them that I’m gay,” Ilhoon’s voice cracked at the last sentence. Sungjae was taken aback. They had discussed before talking to their parents together, saying it would be easier. He felt a bit hurt that Ilhoon decided to do such an important thing by himself, but he let him continue.

 

“Well we were sitting in the living room, watching a drama and I decided I should just drop the bomb. I knew it would be a big deal and for some reason my dumb ass thought it would’ve been better if they didn’t know it was coming. So once the drama went to commercial, I just blurted it out. I just told them. At first they did nothing but look over at me. They were probably in shock. Then, after a while my father started screaming. Something about how “I was a disgrace to the family” and “They would never claim me to be their son again” and “I should be ashamed of myself” My mother didn’t do anything. The entire time she just sat there, staring at the tv like there was something more important going on,” Ilhoon started to get choked up and he finally looked up, seeing the tears well in his boyfriend’s eyes. Sungjae looked up and let the silent tears fall, but started to speak.

 

“Hyung, I had no idea- I just- I had no idea. Ilhoon Hyung I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry,” He blurted out. At this Ilhoon started to cry, letting his guard down to his boyfriend of two years finally. Sungjae wrapped his arms around him tightly, never wanting to let go. He held his boyfriend as sobs continued to rack throughout his lean body. Ilhoon gained more composure of himself and looked up, trying to continue. 

 

“They- they kicked me out and told me never to come back. Oh god, Sungjae they told me to never-to never ever come back,” Ilhoon realized as he broke down again, subconsciously acknowledging how pathetic he probably looked in front of his boyfriend. Sungjae brought him closer squeezing him tightly and whispering in his ear.

“Shhh, Hyung, It’ll all be alright. Do you hear me? I know it’ll all be alright. I’m here. Minhyuk and Eunkwang Hyung are here. Everyone is here. You’re not alone,” he continued, hoping to get through to the elder. Ilhoon held his boyfriend tighter, hoping he couldn’t squeeze someone to death. His sobs finally died down and the younger looked down at his boyfriend. He placed chaste kisses to where he saw tears still falling and held him. 

 

After a few hours of holding each other and reassurance, it was getting ridiculously late and the two boys knew they needed to get a little bit of rest in before their schedule in the morning. Ilhoon turned around to where he could be spooned by the taller male, digging his face into the pillow. Sungjae reached over and pressed a kiss to his hyung’s cheek and whispered in his ear. 

 

“I love you, Jung Ilhoon. Always remember that,” he spoke softly. Ilhoon smiled into the pillow and turned around to face the younger. 

 

“I love you too Yook Sungjae, you cheesy little shit,” he chuckled and pressed a soft kiss to his boyfriend’s lips, both of them falling into a peaceful sleep, knowing they have each other.

**Author's Note:**

> whip iljae is my everything even though they're de*d. anyways if u enjoyed a comment/kudos would be much appriciated :) ! my twitter is @ultsjih pls come yell abt iljae to me on there ! have a great day/night i'll see u in the next fic !! xx mak (ps half my twt friends have already read this if ur here again ilysm mwah)


End file.
